Consent or Rape????

“British woman accuses India’s hockey captain of ‘blackmailing her into having an abortion after they met at London Olympics and got engaged”- dailymail.co.uk

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I like Sardar Singh. He is a well-known sports person in India. So, this news about him did interest me. However, when I read the complete article I realised that the situation they are in is a very common occurrence in the present scenario.

There have been many such cases reported and published by the media. However, since this one involves 2 sports personalities it has gained a wide spread attention.

A little background for the ones who are unaware of this piece of news: “A U.K based Indian origin hockey player Ashpal Bhogal has accused Sardar Singh of forcing her into abortion under the pretext of marriage, while they were engaged. This has caused her physical and emotional trauma.”

I get it. You know heartbreaks are difficult. They are emotionally and physically exhausting. Nobody wants to go through them. They are one of the worse things to happen to a person.  But what I fail to understand is that can we change consensual sex to rape? I mean is it that convenient. I understand that he would have pressured her to get an abortion. The whole negativity and the family’s involvement would have drifted them apart. But, did he rape her? People, who report getting raped under the pretext of marriage, do not even understand what the word rape is! Rape is the worst nightmare for a person (man or woman). I believe in marital rape. I know how that feels I have looked into that monster straight in the eye. But, rape under the pretext of marriage is just a joke. Rape and martial rape is a reality. The ones who endure that pain knows what it is. It kills your soul and sex for marriage is like a bargain. Moreover, getting pregnant in it feels more like a blackmail. I mean as a women do you not know our cycle? Do you not understand that if you have frequent sex, you might get pregnant. Have you not heard of protection and contraceptives?

Why are you having sex with that person? Simple! Because you want to. You think if you make yourself physically available for them they will marry you. That is a notion that you have in mind. Somebody who wants to marry you will marry you with or without sex. So you are basically using sex as a tool to get that person to marry you? Is that not unfair?

What frustrates me that, these allegations are given importance, So that would mean after getting married if the couple separates, either of them can go on record and accused the other of rape. You know they were married and had sex so they are not supposed to get separated! It is just Bul*****.

I mean no offense to anybody. But I just wish that these sorts of allegations should not be compared to a serious crime like Rape. Rape is like a plague in our society. It needs to stop. Please do not demean the rape victims by having consensual sex and then calling it a rape. Please.

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