“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself. (p. 84)”
― Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything
I have always been shamed for my looks. Starting from being a teenager to now an adult. Every time somebody criticized my body or my complexion or my nose I would wonder” it is how it is! And how is my body color or anything else bothering you?”
I have seen better jobs and better opportunities go to the “pretty girls”. You know the kind “tall, fair and slim”. Their skills are not considered. How they are as a person does not matter. If she is pretty she is the best.
I know for a fact that I am not considered good looking to be somebody’s bride or daughter in law. The compensation is my father’s money!
No points in guessing, that I do not have any man in my life who I can say loves me even remotely. But Thank God for family, I have my father and brother for it!
Until a few years back, I would let the negativity get to me. i would starve my self. Vomit everything I have eaten to stay “thin”. I would constantly compare myself with the pretty fair girls and dread that I am not fair. I have gone to sleep for years praying that my complexion miraculously changes. I have seen the fair girls sweep the man I always wanted just by their looks.Now, I have reached a point wherein I do not care of what others think of me. How I perceive of myself is important to me. If you think I am fat and ugly there is nothing I can do to change it.
If you cannot see my honesty, generosity, fierceness and craziness; I really do not want to be with you, not even as a friend. Friends do not pull each other down!
I have seen people pollute others with their negativity. Even as children beauty is all that matter is what is taught. I came across Jonquel Norwood’s Instagram account where she has taken the Disney princesses and turned them into real women. It is just so liberating! Here are a few images from the account.
I truly believe that I might not be your kind of beauty. But I am full of love and surprises. My fierce honesty is difficult to match. I am intelligent and my brain is my sexiest organ. I will never let anybody shame me. I do not support body shaming. Please do not poison the little girls. Just let them be!
Everybody is beautiful in their own way. Don’t just like and share such posts on Facebook and other social media. Believe in them!