Lonely!!!

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”. —Mother Teresa

lonely

Loneliness does not see status, background or gender; it just sneaks on you. Being a part of a few support groups I have come to realize that almost everybody I meet is lonely.

It changes you….. Loneliness changes you. I am not the person I was before. Years of loneliness have finally caught up.  Now it’s just fight against time to just live …. Survive. How did I get here? No clue. Why me? No clue.

What do I know then? Is this it? Is this the end?

I am sure these questions have played in the mind of every person battling loneliness. There is no shame in admitting you are lonely. Let us talk about it. Talk about why are we lonely? What do we miss the most?

Maybe someone finally will understand …… take our loneliness away. Is it possible? I don’t know……but I sure hope so.

lonely1.jpg

I am learning how to handle my loneliness. Here are a few things that I think helps, if you are in the same boat as me… please read on.

  1. Being surrounded by people does not mean we are not lonely. We can be in a room full of people and feel very lonely.
  2. Stop looking for the special one. Yes! You heard me right. It is tedious and if you come across people who are not worth your time and effort… it just going to make you lonelier and shattered.
  3. Anybody who promises to be there and still finds fun and solace everywhere else, cut that person out of your life immediately. Yes! I know they are the only ones we can count on. It’s difficult and everything. But get through this and I promise things are going to change.
  4. Invest in yourself. First stop asking why. Just invest in yourself… eat well. Sleep well… make yourself the best version of you.
  5. Do things that scare you. Trust me. The best one. Get comfortable eating alone (your food is not going to cheat on you)…. Sleep alone (your pillow will comfort only you and not a so called “friend”). Travel alone…. Meet new people
  6. Do things you love…. Dance…sing…paint…travel…read…cook…..have one night stands……anything anything at all that makes you happy.

It is a small life… though it may seem big to us lonely folks but it actually is small…let us make it unlimited….. Whatever the reason for your survival…parents…children…siblings……revenge…..whatever….. It is…it is your goal…make it happen…take every day as it comes…..do not think too much…do not worry about future……I know it is difficult but let us just try and make…make it with hope in our hearts and smile on our faces.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. —- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Chai…chai…garam chai..!!!!

Cutting, kadak, extra doodh, extra cheeni…..whatever the preference is a cup of hot tea is inviting, comforting and one of the best stress reliever.

chai

Nothing matches the feeling of a cup of tea at a tapri on a pleasant and calm night. Warm vapors of the steam, the fragrance of tea with ginger or cardamom and the warmth of the cup travelling up the hands! Ah pure bliss!!!!

Everybody has a preference for the kind of tea they like, every state has their recipe for tea. From Kashmiri Kahwa to Kerala’s Kattan chai and from Assam’s Sah to Rajasthan’s malai mar ke chai….we have a lot of options to choose from.

chai1

chai3

cha2

But our beloved chai is never single. A cup of tea always has a mate whether it is a sutta for the corporate crowd or bun maska for the college goers or biscuit for the quintessential Indian household. We all remember our dads with their cup of tea and newspaper in the morning, don’t we???The tea combos that we Indians have created are to die for.

bun

bis

cream.jpg

The best conversations and important decisions are made over a cuppa chai. The zombie in us is put to rest by a quick cup of tea in the morning.

Green, black, milk whatever you like I am sure you cannot imagine your life without a cup of chai.

India being the second largest producer of tea after China is a proof of our love for tea and how good we are with spreading our love…. This weekend get your best people go out to the favorite tapri and float away to the world of flavor, warmth, nostalgia and conversations.

Cheers!!!!!

FREEEEE!!!!!!

“I am free and that is why I am lost.”— Franz Kafka

fly

Being free and being lost, the two most craved and misunderstood feelings in the world.

What is being free? What is being lost? I do not know either. But I know that I am free at the moment, free from the ties, free from being held down. I do not have any ties, I do not have people telling me what I need to do, where I should go, what is good for me etc.… This is good right… I always craved for this ……. I have spent years waking up each morning to pray for freedom… Yet I am unable to enjoy it!

I crave for the feeling of belonging…. I do not want people breathing down my neck… but just that once in a while hold me back from my wild ways…. Hear out my craziness and be a part of it kind of belonging… and ofcourse you do not establish this with a random person… it is very intimate…very personal…..

I have realized that being free does not come free either…. You pay a price for it… the price called loneliness….. and it is a huge price to pay… your friends and family establish that you need nobody…but fact of the matter is you do… you need that one person who gets you in your space…. Does not change a thing in your tantrums…. Calms you down and again gets you all riled up too…

But well…..we cannot bake our own cake and have it too…so….

In this galaxy full of stars…..find your shine…. Shine bright…..free or lost…..its your shine after all!!!!

Am I The Ugly Duckling????

ugly-duck

As a kid I used to love the story of “The Ugly Duckling” by Hans Christian Andersen. I used to think that I will also grow up to be a swan. I am probably just mistaken as the ugly duckling (child’s innocence)!

But now my perception of the story is very different. The author ends the story with the duckling throwing himself at the flock of the swans (suicide, been there, done that!) and the swans welcome him and they fly away together (birds of a feather flock together). His people accept him for who he is!

Does this happen though? The good looking people live in a different world altogether. They don’t understand the basic struggles of us average people. A good looking person gets what he/she wants. I don’t know if this works true for men but for women I am a living witness, good looking girls actually have world at their feet.

They can move forward in the career, get a wonderful man to fall in love with them, chose not to marry him, get married to even better (the old one still pining for them!), the cosmetic industry first curates stuff for them…they do not have to go through the stares of the salesperson when the ask for something better, they are shown whatever is the best!!

Us average people are like the second class citizens in this world; struggle with jobs, constantly prove themselves, listen to endless tips and tricks to look better, love is far far far fetched(u know my mom and dad would not approve of you) and Thank God for online shopping!!!

The things we hear are hilarious and amusing all at the same time. The words like:

  • a good person,
  • cute,
  • sweet,
  • Oh! Lovely eyes,
  • no you look fine,
  • Who says dark people don’t look beautiful?

We recently my friend was telling me that his very fair friend is dating a dark person, and I could not stop laughing; I mean what is it supposed to mean? Is it coz that fair person has a kind heart to date a not good looking person? I mean, why can we not understand that God created us different and instead to making fun of it and bullying somebody for the way they look why can we not just love our differences?

I guess too much to ask for humans to be human!!!

I admit I am an ugly duckling and there is nothing I can do about it! I wish I could, but I know I cant, and now it does not matter.