My face was covered with small bumps, my skin was itchy and foggy, I never had acne even as a teenager. Concerned I visited a dermatologist. She asked me if – I was always tired? I had put on weight? Were my periods were irregular? I had yes to all! A big YES. She said – “I suspect you have PCOS”.
My reaction was – “What is PCOS? How can I cure it? When will my skin heal from the acne?”
She wrote a few tests and advised me to consult a gynaecologist. I got the tests done and visited a reputed Gynaecologist. The gynaecologist confirmed I had PCOS and started me on Diane 35, M2 tone. I was advised to lose weight and make dietary changes. I was 29. My weight had moved from a good 54 to 68 kgs in less than a year.
This started my battle with weight, skin issues, mood swings, doctor visits that I tried to counter with numerous diets, allopathic medicines, naturopathy, homeopathy and Ayurveda.
I am 35 now. I weigh 86 kgs at the moment. My BMI is overly obese. I always have back ache. It’s been 2 months to my last period.
In the last 6 years I have lost weight, gained weight, my periods have become regular and then again irregular.
I have come from a bad marriage to a loving partner, made my career.
What I have learnt in the last 6 years –
- This is not a BATTLE, but a JOURNEY. I do not need to fight. I need to heal. Mentally and physically. It takes time. But it is worth it.
- Diets do not work. Healthy eating does. Healthy eating is not temporary changes but a lifestyle.
- Exercising is important, more important than those medicines. Any form of exercise is good.
- Food is not just for “comfort”. But good food can be healing!
- You cannot fully heal physically unless you heal mentally.
- Its ok to feel pain and talk about it.
- 100% honesty with your doctor.
- Do not expect immediate changes. Let the healing take its course.
- Accept yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself!
Living with PCOS is not easy. I am trying to heal and better myself. For now I am just accepting myself!
This is me at 26, no PCOS and a different life.
I know I can never be that person again. I can better, wiser and older. And I want to do just that!