The Hot Machismo vs The Coy Femininity

On the eve of women’s day( no pun intended :P), I appreciate all the wishes in form of messages and forwards. Women wish each other, our male friends and colleagues wish us. The day is celebrated with chocolates and flowers. A sweet gesture to honor 49.6% of population in the world.


However, we do not ask for it. We don’t need to feel special or different. We need to feel equal.

Rebecca Walker | writer, feminist and activist says:

“Helping men understand that toxic masculinity is learned, not born, and endangers not just women but men, animals, plants and the future of humanity itself. To cultivate and partner with men who understand that patriarchy is killing them too; what they mistake for privilege is simply another form of bondage.”


Yes, finally! It is just not about being a feminist, or matching men with manly manners. It is about balance, a balance that will provide well for children, our future generations. A better society, less crime, less emasculation.

We must live up to the roles that are carved for us. A woman is supposed to behave, think and do things a certain way; coy, not too loud, understated, always pretty and dependent.

A man is supposed to behave, think and do things a certain way: aggression, raw, rough and independent.

Just as we women are under constant pressure to live up to the expectations, so are men. They constantly have to prove their masculinity. To be a man you need to be strong, broad, devoid of sensitivity, breadwinner, decision maker and live with the thought that women are the weaker race.

As women we are taught to believe that a man has to be all of this and only then he is worthy of you.

With changing times, the imbalance of power and freedom has led to the new age relationships where feelings and love do not exist. People do not understand loyalty. They are constantly competing. The sense of support is lost.

Women do not trust to have a man in their lives anymore. They do not know who, why and what are they looking for!

Same is with men, they do not know how to adjust to the change of women from their moms age to the present-day girls.

We need to be more accommodating with the changes. Women want to be educated, they want to be a part of the families they are born into and then married into.

It is ok if a man wants to be a chef or a dancer or a stay at home dad. It is their choice. Let us stop judging. Stop creating stereotypes. Let each write their own story man, woman or third gender.

What you want is what you get.

So a Happy Woman’s Day may we be strong, raise better, be more accepting.



Moberrism- Yes you heard that right! It is Mob+Terrorism.


a large crowd of people, especially one that is disorderly and intent on causing trouble or violence.

“a mob of protesters”



the Mafia or a similar criminal organization.

“he gambled at a time when the Mob ran gaming”

We as a Nation condemn and fight terrorism every day, but little do we realize that we have let mobs become a part of expressing ourselves. Each time in switch on the news or pick up a newspaper for a quick read there are at least two incidents of mob lynching.

From cow sympathizers to angry parents, all we can think now is mob terror. But I ask you, is this the message we want our children to learn and see? To answer with violence, to be heard with violence!


We are a nation of Mahatma Gandhi. He preached non violence. Have we forgotten him? Are our national heroes restricted to the history books? Even our army does not attack unless it has to retaliation to a previous attack. Have we lost all ethics?

Do we need violence to solve our issues? Torching the public buses, parks, roads etc… Are we not hindering our own progression, our own development?

Some people do not agree with a movies script, get a mob together and slap the director. Some people do not eat beef, hey just get a mob and kill a few people, as simple as that. Your child is unsafe, all you have to do is retaliate with violence and that will keep the children safe. We don’t even spare the foreigners who come to our country to study or get medical treatment.


We create new laws, but are we abiding by the general human laws in the process? How does an eye for an eye create a better world? I just do not understand it.

For a secular nation, for a nation known for its “tolerance” this is way too overwhelming. Burning posters, killing innocent people, killing cops, I mean is this what we have come to now?

People coming together is good, Having a similar thought process for a better society is good, but do we need violence and blood for it?

mob 3.jpg

I am happy I am not a mother, I don’t have a child and I don’t fear what this world is heading to. We as a nation are in reverse gear. I really do not know when we will drive off the cliff. I just hope with time this is changed and it’s a better place for the young Indians.

Meaty Politics!!

India is a democratic country. For the people, of the people and by the people. This is something I remember studying in one of the textbooks back in school. Yes it just is a fancy expression for being in a democratic country.


We have our dictators and dictatorships under wraps, oh! You the so called political parties…. It is all about Monarchy and patriarchy and all other archies we can think off!

Now India is a country where the choice of food is defined by regulations. India is now a country where in, meat ban is more important than importance of education, crime rates, rapes, fraud cases and medical facilities.

The meat ban, closing of the slaughter houses and people on the streets forcing the international food chains and our own people out of work is another new low for us as a society.


We have life imprisonment for consuming beef, but rapist? What about the fraud cases?

The discrimination based on caste, language, color, money, state etc.. Was not enough that we go overboard with this too?

The amount of people on streets doing the best to sustain the meat ban just proves the unemployment rates in India. We need to be very concerned about this and not celebrate it.

This is very disturbing. If we talk about cow meat in particular that, cow is worshiped, what about these animals who are also associated with God and mythology:


Tortoise—Vishnu (Kurma)

Eagle—Vishnu (Garuda)

Dog— Kal Bhairav(Shiva)

Boar— Varaha (Vishnu)

Lion — Narasimha (Vishnu)

Tiger — Durga

Snake— Vishnu and Shiva

Elephant — Ganesh

Mouse — Ganesh

Peacock — Ayyapa

These are a few I could think of. What are we doing for them? Animal protection is important and we do need to address that, but making it political and creating differences is no solution to anything.

It is very clear why the meat ban is receiving this kind of importance. I only wish we could leave all this and focus more on what is important for this country.

India needs awareness on not only our culture but also cultures around the world. The new laws in America is an important issue as it effects a huge chunk of the working class. Education is becoming expensive by the hour, we need to get better laws for the education system.

As a country we need new medical policies. Safety of the children and women. There are just so many issues. But surely meat ban is not one of them.

What one eats is his or her personal choice. Food is supposed to bring people closer and not create differences.

The Danish Girl


Based on the life of Lili Elbe (Einar Wegener) and Gerda Wegener; Two painters in love, married for years. Things change when Einar dies and then when Lili does.

Einar and Lili are the same person or to correct myself different people but stuck in the same body.

Einar is married to the beautiful Gerda who he fondly calls as “beautiful and shameless Gerda”. They are in love and enjoy each other’s company. They decide to play a game where Einar is dressed as a woman and is introduced as his cousin “Lili”. They attend an art gala for a friend where Lili is pursued by a man.

Einar realizes that the deep seated desire he has is to free Lili from his man body. He admits the same to Gerda. The journey for two lovers transitioning from being a married couple in love to being best friends supports the transition of Einar to Lili.

The movie is beautiful!!! The way the journey of 3 souls is handled, it is a testimony not just to the director but also to the actors.


You can feel Einar changing into Lili. You desperately want him to transition. You get angry when he is treated like a mental patient. And Gerda, Oh my Gerda, I could relate most to her. Being in love with a man and see him slowly move away, turn into a different person is not easy, but she makes it seamless. Her pain and suffering is silent. You rather hope for her that all this is just a bad dream and Einar will come back.

Gerda loves Einar to a point that she helps him to transition. She stands beside him no matter what. Gerda proves to the world that a woman’s love knows no boundaries. It may seem stupid and unnecessary but that is what love does, it gives you the strength to make it through the worst times.


Here are a few quotes from the movie:

Einar Wegener: I love you, because you are the only person who made sense of me. And made me, possible.

Einar Wegener: I think Lily’s thoughts, I dream her dreams. She was always there.

Lili Elbe: I know you have taken care of me, why did you do everything if you hoped this would be same again. I need to take care of myself now Gerda, and you should too.

I am keen to read Lili’s thoughts published as “Man into Woman”. Lili, Einar and Gerda did not have a happy ending but they did what was best for their love, their passion!!!!!


Anda ka Funda!!!!

You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg. — Unknown

Eggs indeed have a heart of gold. They are one of the most popular and preferred option for breakfast around the world. They are used in all forms of cooking and of course baking. Everybody has their favorite form of eggs. Some like omlettes, some boiled or poached and some (just like me) scrambled.


We here in India call scrambled eggs, Anda Bhurji. The comfort street dish found in every city and any time of the day.


There is nothing like standing at a thela (kiosk) and seeing your anda bhurji being made. The aroma of fried onions and tomatoes, spices and freshly whisked eggs. The anda bhurji is typically served with pav or bread with a dollop of butter and sprinkling of coriander leaves.


Anda bhurji fuels the officer goers as a quick breakfast option and comforts the late night college students taking a break from… from well….. being students!!

It is easy to make, takes no time and barely requires any cooking skills. Yet it manages to fill the heart and stomach with comfort and warmth.

Choose any partner for your bhurji; pav, bread, chapati, chai, coffee, and sutta. It is going to bring smile to your face.


Enjoy your plate of anda bhurji and spread some love… the world needs it!!!


“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”. —Mother Teresa


Loneliness does not see status, background or gender; it just sneaks on you. Being a part of a few support groups I have come to realize that almost everybody I meet is lonely.

It changes you….. Loneliness changes you. I am not the person I was before. Years of loneliness have finally caught up.  Now it’s just fight against time to just live …. Survive. How did I get here? No clue. Why me? No clue.

What do I know then? Is this it? Is this the end?

I am sure these questions have played in the mind of every person battling loneliness. There is no shame in admitting you are lonely. Let us talk about it. Talk about why are we lonely? What do we miss the most?

Maybe someone finally will understand …… take our loneliness away. Is it possible? I don’t know……but I sure hope so.


I am learning how to handle my loneliness. Here are a few things that I think helps, if you are in the same boat as me… please read on.

  1. Being surrounded by people does not mean we are not lonely. We can be in a room full of people and feel very lonely.
  2. Stop looking for the special one. Yes! You heard me right. It is tedious and if you come across people who are not worth your time and effort… it just going to make you lonelier and shattered.
  3. Anybody who promises to be there and still finds fun and solace everywhere else, cut that person out of your life immediately. Yes! I know they are the only ones we can count on. It’s difficult and everything. But get through this and I promise things are going to change.
  4. Invest in yourself. First stop asking why. Just invest in yourself… eat well. Sleep well… make yourself the best version of you.
  5. Do things that scare you. Trust me. The best one. Get comfortable eating alone (your food is not going to cheat on you)…. Sleep alone (your pillow will comfort only you and not a so called “friend”). Travel alone…. Meet new people
  6. Do things you love…. Dance…sing…paint…travel…read…cook…..have one night stands……anything anything at all that makes you happy.

It is a small life… though it may seem big to us lonely folks but it actually is small…let us make it unlimited….. Whatever the reason for your survival…parents…children…siblings……revenge…..whatever….. It is…it is your goal…make it happen…take every day as it comes… not think too much…do not worry about future……I know it is difficult but let us just try and make…make it with hope in our hearts and smile on our faces.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. —- Martin Luther King, Jr.


“I am free and that is why I am lost.”— Franz Kafka


Being free and being lost, the two most craved and misunderstood feelings in the world.

What is being free? What is being lost? I do not know either. But I know that I am free at the moment, free from the ties, free from being held down. I do not have any ties, I do not have people telling me what I need to do, where I should go, what is good for me etc.… This is good right… I always craved for this ……. I have spent years waking up each morning to pray for freedom… Yet I am unable to enjoy it!

I crave for the feeling of belonging…. I do not want people breathing down my neck… but just that once in a while hold me back from my wild ways…. Hear out my craziness and be a part of it kind of belonging… and ofcourse you do not establish this with a random person… it is very intimate…very personal…..

I have realized that being free does not come free either…. You pay a price for it… the price called loneliness….. and it is a huge price to pay… your friends and family establish that you need nobody…but fact of the matter is you do… you need that one person who gets you in your space…. Does not change a thing in your tantrums…. Calms you down and again gets you all riled up too…

But well…..we cannot bake our own cake and have it too…so….

In this galaxy full of stars…..find your shine…. Shine bright… or lost…..its your shine after all!!!!

Am I The Ugly Duckling????


As a kid I used to love the story of “The Ugly Duckling” by Hans Christian Andersen. I used to think that I will also grow up to be a swan. I am probably just mistaken as the ugly duckling (child’s innocence)!

But now my perception of the story is very different. The author ends the story with the duckling throwing himself at the flock of the swans (suicide, been there, done that!) and the swans welcome him and they fly away together (birds of a feather flock together). His people accept him for who he is!

Does this happen though? The good looking people live in a different world altogether. They don’t understand the basic struggles of us average people. A good looking person gets what he/she wants. I don’t know if this works true for men but for women I am a living witness, good looking girls actually have world at their feet.

They can move forward in the career, get a wonderful man to fall in love with them, chose not to marry him, get married to even better (the old one still pining for them!), the cosmetic industry first curates stuff for them…they do not have to go through the stares of the salesperson when the ask for something better, they are shown whatever is the best!!

Us average people are like the second class citizens in this world; struggle with jobs, constantly prove themselves, listen to endless tips and tricks to look better, love is far far far fetched(u know my mom and dad would not approve of you) and Thank God for online shopping!!!

The things we hear are hilarious and amusing all at the same time. The words like:

  • a good person,
  • cute,
  • sweet,
  • Oh! Lovely eyes,
  • no you look fine,
  • Who says dark people don’t look beautiful?

We recently my friend was telling me that his very fair friend is dating a dark person, and I could not stop laughing; I mean what is it supposed to mean? Is it coz that fair person has a kind heart to date a not good looking person? I mean, why can we not understand that God created us different and instead to making fun of it and bullying somebody for the way they look why can we not just love our differences?

I guess too much to ask for humans to be human!!!

I admit I am an ugly duckling and there is nothing I can do about it! I wish I could, but I know I cant, and now it does not matter.