Lost Innocence

Childhood is a beautiful time in one’s life. Playing, learning and loving; this is all children care about. They are God’s way of saying that the world needs to move on, do better. A child’s innocence is beautiful, the smile is infectious.

I wonder the last time Ashifa smiled. I wonder what was going through her mind when she was abducted, help captive in a TEMPLE, drugged and raped, gang raped. And, I cannot. I just cannot imagine.

This is being justified as a step to drive out the Bakherwal people from a village. This is being touted as communal move.

No religion supports inhumanity. Taking away a child’s innocence is not preached by any God.

This act is heinous and I am sure God has left us. We humans are his worse creation. Justifying and supporting these incidents on his name is certainly not what he wants. Building temples and raping little girls in it! No wonder women are not let in temples during menses, we are the unholy ones! He has left us, and now we only have beasts and satans around us.

Indians think cows are more important. The beef lynches plagued the country and that was supported but nobody wants to raise their voice in support of the children. There were protests against a character represented in a movie. But this, on this there is silence.

The violence against women is a lost cause. Even after Nirbhaya, the incidents continued, the illogical and illiterate comments continued. And we women have learnt to live with it.

Now it’s the children, now what? How are these little girls enticing? Will you say that she crossed a line while playing? What now?

Among the accused there is a juvenile as well. And this is not the first case with a juvenile involved in rape and murder. This is what we are encouraging our youth with. The country has a bright future.

“Hindu activists argue that some of the police officers who worked on the case are, like Asifa, Muslims – and cannot be trusted, according to the Times. Dozens of Hindu women have helped block a highway and organize a hunger strike.

“They are against our religion,” Bimla Devi, a protester, told the New York Times. She said that if the accused men weren’t freed, “we will burn ourselves.”” An excerpt from a news article.

I wish they burn themselves. I know for a fact that there is no heaven, we don’t deserve even the thought of heaven. But, sure wish there is hell and a special kind of hell for such people.

Imagine her screams, the confusion and the pain she went through. This is what was given to her in name of Hindu and Muslim, in name of land and temple.

I am sorry our freedom fighters, our ansectors, you fought for us to have a better world, but we disappointed you and made it worse.

Sorry Nirbhaya, Sorry Aruna; you died in vain, your fight means nothing to communal crazy people. Everything is politics and no child is worth more than religion, God and votes. I am sorry we did not realize this sooner!

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The Hot Machismo vs The Coy Femininity

On the eve of women’s day( no pun intended :P), I appreciate all the wishes in form of messages and forwards. Women wish each other, our male friends and colleagues wish us. The day is celebrated with chocolates and flowers. A sweet gesture to honor 49.6% of population in the world.

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However, we do not ask for it. We don’t need to feel special or different. We need to feel equal.

Rebecca Walker | writer, feminist and activist says:

“Helping men understand that toxic masculinity is learned, not born, and endangers not just women but men, animals, plants and the future of humanity itself. To cultivate and partner with men who understand that patriarchy is killing them too; what they mistake for privilege is simply another form of bondage.”

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Yes, finally! It is just not about being a feminist, or matching men with manly manners. It is about balance, a balance that will provide well for children, our future generations. A better society, less crime, less emasculation.

We must live up to the roles that are carved for us. A woman is supposed to behave, think and do things a certain way; coy, not too loud, understated, always pretty and dependent.

A man is supposed to behave, think and do things a certain way: aggression, raw, rough and independent.

Just as we women are under constant pressure to live up to the expectations, so are men. They constantly have to prove their masculinity. To be a man you need to be strong, broad, devoid of sensitivity, breadwinner, decision maker and live with the thought that women are the weaker race.

As women we are taught to believe that a man has to be all of this and only then he is worthy of you.

With changing times, the imbalance of power and freedom has led to the new age relationships where feelings and love do not exist. People do not understand loyalty. They are constantly competing. The sense of support is lost.

Women do not trust to have a man in their lives anymore. They do not know who, why and what are they looking for!

Same is with men, they do not know how to adjust to the change of women from their moms age to the present-day girls.

We need to be more accommodating with the changes. Women want to be educated, they want to be a part of the families they are born into and then married into.

It is ok if a man wants to be a chef or a dancer or a stay at home dad. It is their choice. Let us stop judging. Stop creating stereotypes. Let each write their own story man, woman or third gender.

What you want is what you get.

So a Happy Woman’s Day may we be strong, raise better, be more accepting.

Moberrism

Moberrism- Yes you heard that right! It is Mob+Terrorism.

1.

a large crowd of people, especially one that is disorderly and intent on causing trouble or violence.

“a mob of protesters”

2.

NORTH AMERICAN

the Mafia or a similar criminal organization.

“he gambled at a time when the Mob ran gaming”

We as a Nation condemn and fight terrorism every day, but little do we realize that we have let mobs become a part of expressing ourselves. Each time in switch on the news or pick up a newspaper for a quick read there are at least two incidents of mob lynching.

From cow sympathizers to angry parents, all we can think now is mob terror. But I ask you, is this the message we want our children to learn and see? To answer with violence, to be heard with violence!

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We are a nation of Mahatma Gandhi. He preached non violence. Have we forgotten him? Are our national heroes restricted to the history books? Even our army does not attack unless it has to retaliation to a previous attack. Have we lost all ethics?

Do we need violence to solve our issues? Torching the public buses, parks, roads etc… Are we not hindering our own progression, our own development?

Some people do not agree with a movies script, get a mob together and slap the director. Some people do not eat beef, hey just get a mob and kill a few people, as simple as that. Your child is unsafe, all you have to do is retaliate with violence and that will keep the children safe. We don’t even spare the foreigners who come to our country to study or get medical treatment.

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We create new laws, but are we abiding by the general human laws in the process? How does an eye for an eye create a better world? I just do not understand it.

For a secular nation, for a nation known for its “tolerance” this is way too overwhelming. Burning posters, killing innocent people, killing cops, I mean is this what we have come to now?

People coming together is good, Having a similar thought process for a better society is good, but do we need violence and blood for it?

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I am happy I am not a mother, I don’t have a child and I don’t fear what this world is heading to. We as a nation are in reverse gear. I really do not know when we will drive off the cliff. I just hope with time this is changed and it’s a better place for the young Indians.

Meaty Politics!!

India is a democratic country. For the people, of the people and by the people. This is something I remember studying in one of the textbooks back in school. Yes it just is a fancy expression for being in a democratic country.

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We have our dictators and dictatorships under wraps, oh! You the so called political parties…. It is all about Monarchy and patriarchy and all other archies we can think off!

Now India is a country where the choice of food is defined by regulations. India is now a country where in, meat ban is more important than importance of education, crime rates, rapes, fraud cases and medical facilities.

The meat ban, closing of the slaughter houses and people on the streets forcing the international food chains and our own people out of work is another new low for us as a society.

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We have life imprisonment for consuming beef, but rapist? What about the fraud cases?

The discrimination based on caste, language, color, money, state etc.. Was not enough that we go overboard with this too?

The amount of people on streets doing the best to sustain the meat ban just proves the unemployment rates in India. We need to be very concerned about this and not celebrate it.

This is very disturbing. If we talk about cow meat in particular that, cow is worshiped, what about these animals who are also associated with God and mythology:

Monkeys—Hanuman

Tortoise—Vishnu (Kurma)

Eagle—Vishnu (Garuda)

Dog— Kal Bhairav(Shiva)

Boar— Varaha (Vishnu)

Lion — Narasimha (Vishnu)

Tiger — Durga

Snake— Vishnu and Shiva

Elephant — Ganesh

Mouse — Ganesh

Peacock — Ayyapa

These are a few I could think of. What are we doing for them? Animal protection is important and we do need to address that, but making it political and creating differences is no solution to anything.

It is very clear why the meat ban is receiving this kind of importance. I only wish we could leave all this and focus more on what is important for this country.

India needs awareness on not only our culture but also cultures around the world. The new laws in America is an important issue as it effects a huge chunk of the working class. Education is becoming expensive by the hour, we need to get better laws for the education system.

As a country we need new medical policies. Safety of the children and women. There are just so many issues. But surely meat ban is not one of them.

What one eats is his or her personal choice. Food is supposed to bring people closer and not create differences.

Religion or Humanity!!!

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I came across this post on Facebook. I liked it! But for some reason I kept reading it again and again and again. The post disturbed me. I saw the post just after the ban on immigrants by the very popular Mr. Trump.

India is a country where Religion+Language+Caste+Gender = Identity. Nobody can change it, everybody seems OK with it. Heck! We even end up marrying complete stranger to keep the “identity” intact!

But targeting a religion, how is it fair? Whether it’s done to get votes or make cults… it only leads to discrimination and destruction. The world has seen enough wars… we have come far from those times…. Why can we not deal with things in a better manner?

All the religions preach love…. God is a creator…. A creator would not want to destroy….. Imagine yourself to be a creator … you have make a painting or a pot or building or a family…. You would do everything in your power to protect it. Similarly God does not want destruction, war and debates. It is us humans who do that…we play with faith, truth and the worst of all the humanity.

I encourage you to love people beyond their “identity”. In the fight for all let not humanity get lost!!!!!

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Dancing Boys!

“Women are for children, boys are for pleasure. “

This is a very famous saying in Afghanistan and its nearby countries. Can you even believe it? Are you still trying to understand what it means?

It is the infamous Bacha Bazi. It is slang for child boy prostitutes. Yes you read it right!

Boys are kept as slaves by their “Masters”. They have sex with their masters and then are taken around for other men to enjoy them. They are made to dress like girls and dance in the parties.

This is done to boys at an age where they do not even understand sexuality. Let alone sex!

It is amusing to know that “The practice of dancing boys is illegal under Afghan law, being “against both sharia law and the civil code.”

But do we really need a law for this? Can a fellow human not understand that you cannot defile a child girl or boy!

Paedophile is just not the way of life. It is a disease and the person needs medical help. Sexual abuse is in itself unacceptable and child abuse is beyond words.

These young boys take up drugs to help cope. They belong to poor families and hence fall prey to all this.

Imagine get torn down into bits and piece emotionally and physically and not even get paid. They live with their masters just to be able to get roof on their head and food.

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Nothing is reason enough to take away a child’s right to childhood. Nobody deserves scars!

I hope the Human Rights take this seriously and do something about it! At the moment the world seems to be a dark place to live in.

Dont Shame!!!!!!

 

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself. (p. 84)”

― Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything

I have always been shamed for my looks. Starting from being a teenager to now an adult. Every time somebody criticized my body or my complexion or my nose I would wonder” it is how it is! And how is my body color or anything else bothering you?”

I have seen better jobs and better opportunities go to the “pretty girls”. You know the kind “tall, fair and slim”. Their skills are not considered. How they are as a person does not matter. If she is pretty she is the best.

I know for a fact that I am not considered good looking to be somebody’s bride or daughter in law. The compensation is my father’s money!

No points in guessing, that I do not have any man in my life who I can say loves me even remotely.  But Thank God for family, I have my father and brother for it!

Until a few years back, I would let the negativity get to me. i would starve my self. Vomit everything I have eaten to stay “thin”. I would constantly compare myself with the pretty fair girls and dread that I am not fair. I have gone to sleep for years praying that my complexion miraculously changes. I have seen the fair girls sweep the man I always wanted just by their looks.Now, I have reached a point wherein I do not care of what others think of me. How I perceive of myself is important to me. If you think I am fat and ugly there is nothing I can do to change it.

If you cannot see my honesty, generosity, fierceness and craziness; I really do not want to be with you, not even as a friend. Friends do not pull each other down!

I have seen people pollute others with their negativity. Even as children beauty is all that matter is what is taught. I came across Jonquel Norwood’s Instagram account where she has taken the Disney princesses and turned them into real women. It is just so liberating! Here are a few images from the account.

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I truly believe that I might not be your kind of beauty. But I am full of love and surprises. My fierce honesty is difficult to match.  I am intelligent and my brain is my sexiest organ. I will never let anybody shame me. I do not support body shaming. Please do not poison the little girls. Just let them be!

Everybody is beautiful in their own way. Don’t just like and share such posts on Facebook and other social media. Believe in them!

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Beardo!!!

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A man with a beard is to me most desirable! A good well-groomed beard brings out the best in a man; to me a good beard can make the most average man look irresistible!

But imagine a beard on a woman. I mean I find it very difficult to picture myself or any of my female friends with a mane. However, Harnaam Kaur from U.K has defied all olds and is a Guinness book record holder for world’s youngest female with a full beard.

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The pictures of Harnaam Kaur all over the internet are very liberating. She has a full grown thick glossy beard with winged liner and perfectly done lips.

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She suffers from PCOS (polycystic ovaries syndrome), hence the over growth of the facial hair. I or any other female with PCOS will relate to this. I know the pain of hair removal every few days. The embarrassment I feel when I see somebody I am talking to notice my facial hair in between.

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This is so comforting and liberating. I wish I could break stereotypes just like her.

Her beard makes her no less feminine. Her pictures on the internet will tell you that. The bridal shoot that she did is breath taking.

This is to me just a huge huge huge example of being comfortable with who you are. A good answer to body shamers.I know a lot of my male friends cringe with the thought of woman with hair even on the private areas. But, they forget women are human too and have hair growth just like them!

Harnaam Kaur, you are an inspiration and a whiff of hope for me. Thank you!

Came back!!!

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

― Jalaluddin Rumi

These immortal words by the famous Persian poet Rumi not only gives hope but also tells us what life is about!

However, these words came true for a woman and her family in India.

Reincarnation is not a concept that a lot of people believe in. I don’t believe in it either. There has been a lot of research done on this subject and the case of Shanti devi defies our believes to an extent.

Shanti Devi was born in 1926 in Delhi, India. She shook the nation with her account of the previous life that she spoke of as a four year old. Her parents at that time discouraged her from talking about her previous life believing that she is creating stories.

She would talk about being married to a Kedar nath from Mathura( a town in Uttar Pradesh, India). She said her name is not Shanti devi but, Lugdi devi and that she died after giving birth to her son. Her longing to see her son and her love for her husband brought her back.

She ran away from her home in Delhi to reach Mathura, however, was found by her family and was brought back. A teacher from her school wrote a letter to Kedar nath in Mathura and to everybody’s shock received a reply from Kedar nath as well. When Kedar nath heard that this little girl claims to be his late wife, he travelled to Delhi to meet her and to know the truth.

To his surprise she answered every little detail that Lugdi devi only knew.

When Mahatma Gandhi heard about the case, he met Shanti devi and set up a commission to investigate. The commission traveled with Shanti Devi to Mathura. There she recognized several family members, including the grandfather of Lugdi Devi. She found out that Kedar Nath had neglected to keep a number of promises he had made to Lugdi Devi on her deathbed. She then traveled home with her parents. The commission’s report concluded that Shanti Devi was indeed the reincarnation of Lugdi Devi.

Shanti Devi did not marry. She told her story again at the end of the 1950s, and once more in 1986 when she was interviewed by Ian Stevenson and K.S. Rawat. In this interview she also related her near death experiences when Lugdi Devi died. K.S. Rawat continued his investigations in 1987, and the last interview took place only four days before her death on December 27, 1987.

I find it hard to believe, I mean how it is even possible, but I guess there are some things that are beyond human understanding!

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The Iron Lady!!

The Iron Lady of Manipur is Irom Chanu Sharmila. Also known as Mengoubi, in the local language; which means the fair one, is on an on-going hunger strike.

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She opposes the AFSPA presence in the North Indian states. After the Malcolm massacre incident in November 2000, which killed 10 people and severely injured 42 others.  In 1958 this law was applied to the 7 north eastern states wherein, the armed forces could arrest people or search places without a warrant on the basis of terrorism suspicion. (Armed Forces Special Powers Act)

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The armed forces however, open fired on the people standing at the bus stop where, 10 were killed leaving others injured. They were also responsible for a lot of political unrest in the region.

To oppose this and to make the government withdraw the AFSPA, Sharmila vowed to not eat and drink till the law was withdrawn.  A nasogastric intubation was put to her the same month to keep her alive.

To break her spirit she was arrested under the pretext of “attempt to commit suicide”. Really!!! I wonder where was this clause when Kanahiya Kumar announced fasting against the action taken by the authorities?! Since her arrest and release, she has been arrested and released almost every year since her fast began.

But, this lady is really made of iron, she did not deter, she stayed on her ground. She has received a lot of recognition since then. A lot of political parties have approached her, to join them, but she never cashed her interests for politics. As she is truly against it! Unlike people, who cause unrest and call it intolerance.

This act is still ruled in the states and I strongly oppose to them. Such acts do not help the political situation for the common man. I wish I had the will of iron just like our Iron lady! I can just hope her wish is fulfilled and people can see sensibility in her crazy love for her people!